danish dribbles

I'm learning Danish. Well, that's a bit generous...I'm trying to learn Danish. The government actually offers free language classes for registered foreigners, and thus Ben Jones finds himself in Mette Hess's Module 2-3 Intermediate 1 class meeting Monday nights from 5:10 to 7:45. I learned during class introductions that people have different motivations for joining. For each and every girl, it's because they just moved to the country to be with their Danish (insert boyfriend/fiancee/husband). As for the gentlemen, it has to be masochism...this language is painful.

Grammatically, Danish is quite simple. There are no verb conjugations, no definite/indefinite articles, no declensions except for simple agreement in gender (of which there are 2) and the past tense and passive voice are all incredibly intuitive constructions. But may God have mercy on any foreigner trying to pronounce these words. I herniated a disk and nearly vomited just trying to pronounce "the brothers," which is spelled brødrene but pronounced more like...well, a choking special needs child. I've done my best to replicate the proper phonetic construction in this picture.

There are 6 modules (levels) of teaching. Pass level 6 and you're certified to register in Danish college classes. Being in the module 2-3 class, I would expect to at least be understood. However, at present, I'm understood only as a source of amusement for my Danish friends. Typical social exchanges go like this:

"Oh! Oh! Try to say 'rød grød med fløde'...no just try it, I won't laugh I swear. HAHA Oh my God that was SO bad...Hey, hey Klaus, come watch Ben try to say 'rød grød med fløde'..."

Hvad helvede, dude.