The Visa Dankort (henceforth VD) has agreed to join us today to promote himself and discuss current and future projects, including the magic and convenience he's spreading all across Denmark. For those of you not joining us live in the studio, a transcription of the session is provided below and followed by a brief biography of our special guest.
BB: So, what exactly are you?
VD: Great question. I'm a plastic-based proprietary financial instrument imbued with an electronic chip and magnetic stripe. I'm frequently called "the national card of Denmark" and I'm the only access the country has to short-term revolving credit. All of my impersonators are mere debit cards. I, on the other hand, give you 2-3 days before posting to your account to ensure you have sufficient funds to cover your purchases. It's fantastic. Within the country, you use my Dankort feature, and rely on the Visa for backup internationally.
BB: In the US we have a "swipe and sign" system that allows practically anyone the freedom to buy normally and pay for all purchases together at the end of the month. What's special about you?
VD: Several things, actually. I'm freedom, access and exclusivity. Being half Dankort, half Visa, I can be of service anywhere in Denmark, or throughout the rest of the world. All of the Danes have me, and I'm almost like a membership card to the culture club. Best of all, I play hard to get, so people feel privileged and empowered to actually have me. Some would call me a credit card...but that's like calling Leonardo da Vinci a moderately successful inventor.
BB: Well. What would we do without you VD?
VD: Another very good question, and I actually don't know the answer. I'm the exclusive payment method all over Denmark and was used over 676 million times in 2006 alone. Yes, people still use cash, but fees for withdrawing money from ATMs make me the preferred choice. The buy now/pay later system used in the US isn't accepted here, and I'm simply the most convenient way to buy.
BB: You speak well for yourself, how can I acquire you?
VD: I'm so glad you asked, the procedure is quite simple. Set up an account at your local bank and wait roughly 8 months. After that, you can request a review and, provided you've had consistent, generous cash inflows, you may be awarded a card.
BB: VD, you rascal...always the kidder. How do we really go about getting you?
VD: No, no. I'm serious.
BB: Ok, wait. Let me recap a few facts, and correct me if I'm wrong here. Other than cash, you're often the only form of payment accepted anywhere in the country.
VD: That's correct, yes.
BB: And your credit window is 2-3 days before the money is automatically debited from one's account.
VD: Also correct.
BB: There's no credit feature here, you're not lending your users any money?
VD: Right.
BB: But we have to wait 8 months and pass stringent income requirements to acquire you?
VD: Well, yes.
BB:So what do people do in the meantime? I mean, a simple meal for 2 at a Danish restaurant often costs in excess of 500 kr ($100). Who carries that much cash around with them?
VD: Well, I mean, I have to be exclusive and whatnot...you know what? No. I'm not doing this. I see right through your gimmick, Ben's Blog. You wanted to start this thing off as a warm and fuzzy informative about an important facet of Danish culture and watch it devolve into bickering as you illustrate your preconceived inadequacies with the system. I'm not having it. I'm not participating.
BB: I'm just trying to provide an objective view for our readers. Here, let's go with a real-world example. Actually, let's make it a fill-in-the-blank. I recently went to Taco Shop and was unable to pay because they only accepted you and I didn't have enough cash. As VD, that makes you feel...
VD: Done. Interview over.
BB: Goodness, I thought for sure he'd be better at accepting charges...
Biography
The Visa-Dankort was born in Copenhagen in September, 1983 to a single parent, Pengeinstitutternes Købe- og Kreditkort. His upbringing was a rather rough one, landing him in and out of court as a juvenile for displaying monopolistic tendencies. Finally, as he reached his 18th birthday, the government deemed him old enough to become his own company, Dankort A/S, as the outcome of antitrust legislation. As a 21st birthday present, he was imprinted with a special "chip." Though the company deemed it a security upgrade, the move was clearly designed to appease the high-fashion taste of Danes who would prefer to stylishly stick their card into a reader rather than swipe it. A current working professional, Visa-Dankort makes his money by charging businesses a flat fee based on the number of monthly transactions. His success is entirely attributed to his consumer appeal and relies upon blackmail to force store acceptance. In the future, Visa-Dankort intends to lobby for the illegalization of physical currency and all other payment methods for the sole sake of customer convenience.
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